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Whop Whop Whopa….Eating Vegan Style!!!

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As I mentioned in my blog yesterday, I am on a new path of healthy living, and what you put in you get out… Don’t ask if I have started running yet, all in good time, all in good time!

I am feeling fabulous today, and more motivated than ever, which in itself has been a difficult step for me, as support can be hard to come by, and people cannot understand my need to be strict on myself. They cannot understand why I am doing this, and why I am so excited all the time about my new venture into a world unknown. It seems this jubilation is far too scary for some, who like their lives the way it is, which is great for them, but still very sad in a way that they do not realize what they are missing, and the rewards they will reap if they simply tried it out. Some have gone so far as to try and encourage me to not be so strict, and that’s where that little saying everything in moderation is good for you. Well I am very sorry for you, but I am not feeling that vibe right now. So support me or don’t… I am doing it Vegan Style!!

My kids and husband and house mate who is like my little brother think I that I may have lost the plot… “Juicing veggies for breakfast Lisa????? Raw Chocolate Lisa??? Raw Cheese Cake Lisa??? Walnut Meat Lisa???? “Almond Milk Lisa… have you lost your F***ing mind?!!!?” That was until I made chocolates… Well I had to make a new batch within 24 hours as they had all been polished… NOT BY ME I might add….!!! There are something’s they won’t have at all and turn their nose up at and that’s fine… change is not as easy for some, but as long as I can keep them slightly interested then we are on the right path! Whopa… Vegan Style!!!

Raw Chocolate

I have not been a complete angel in the past four days, I have had a drink or two, I have had a few kips crackers with smoked salmon cheese dip, and to top it all we were invited to a braai on Monday, and as you know South African braai’s are all about a dop and chop. On my first day, I was hardly going to arrive with the veggie juice in hand and a bottle of water, as I was not ready to get asked 101 questions, as I so not have the energy to justify why I am doing this and I shouldn’t have to, I know why and that’s all that matters to me.

However the second day got much harder, when we arrived at a pub in town for after work drinks (I was oblivious to the fact that we were headed in that direction) however upon arriving and ordering a simple soda water, it was as though the entire place looked in my direction, the little after work clicks stopped, and the question popped out like word vomit…. “WHATS WRONG WITH YOU??? WHY AREN’T YOU DRINKING???” A simple short abrupt “I DON’T WANT TOO” was my answer and still they looked, I was fuming inside, I wanted to scream “Take a picture it lasts longer!!” But I didn’t! As again I realized, this is a comfort zone for some people. This constant questioning and offering of a drink continued, until eventually I caved… this I thought must have made them feel as though they had won… My will power had failed and they had won… I felt guilty, that I had again failed myself, who was I cheating…only myself, but when I proceeded to finish that drink and not order another and leave only then I felt much better.

I feel I should tell you that I enjoy a few drinks and then a few more and maybe another half for the journey… but that’s only until the morning though, when I feel like absolute shit! I am not going to tell you that I will never drink again, because that would be a lie, because I am going to. However it’s very simple, if I am going to moan about feeling tired all the time, and that I don’t feel comfortable in my awesome Jeans, then I need to be the one that says NO, I am doing it my way and if I am looked at as though I am a leper because I won’t drink then fine so be it. But I refuse to complain and do nothing about it. It is my choice right now not to fall into old unhealthy habits; I am trying to break the cycle.

Day Three: Was much better, I woke up feeling ready to take on the world at 5.30am, drank my lemon water, Beet Juice for breakfast, and juiced the rest of the day. I don’t generally eat during the day when I am at work however; I took the other already made juices to work, to ensure that my body was still getting the nutrients it needs. My normal cycle is to only eat when I get home. I slept so well, no tossing and turning, it was fabulous! Whopa Vegan Style!!!

hayfield

Day Four: Wasn’t so keen to wake up and take the kids to school on a public holiday, but after I was up and about, dressed, I was in the kitchen 15 minutes early before having to take the kids off to school, I drank HOT lemon water today, as the weather is rearing its ugly head into winter, so I need something to warm me up… Off to school we went, got there 15minutes early – this has been a first for me I am always late!! “In your face – Daniels Teacher… “I WAS ON TIME!!! I WAS EARLY!!! I FEEL GREAT! WAIT… WHY YOU OFF TO CHAPEL SO EARLY? JUST TO SPITE ME… FINE!!!?!!” “I Will be earlier tomorrow just you wait and see…!” “I will win this war too!!” WHOPA!!!

When I got home I made the RAW Cheese Cake… OMG the filling… YUMMMMM!!!

RAw Cheese Cake

Then I quickly juiced up my juice for work drank the beloved Green Juice (Not My Favorite) but I felt fab afterwards… on my way to work I realized… BAMMM it’s a public holiday, and I haven’t wasted it, not one minute of it… cause why… I’m doing it VEGAN STYLE….

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Posted by on March 21, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Mind, Body, Soul…..

When it comes to FAD Diets I am the Queen, I have tried everything from, the starvation diet issued by a medical doctor mind you, I have also tried and tested things like bio-slim, thins, diet syrup, even a diet of injectables and eating suppressants. Yes… Yes… I know, you are thinking what was I thinking, what was I putting into my body, and Yes I gained the weight I needed to lose by double.

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An ongoing war with my body, of eating or not eating, self-hatred, guilt, disgust and many other more emotional dysfunctionalities towards myself and my body. I am surrounded by beautiful friends that have amazing beach bodies, some of which don’t even realize it because they too are battling the pounds or emotional barriers that need to be overcome.

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My beautiful friend Keri (and by beautiful I mean, slim and trim, a healthy eater, fit and to top it all she is an amazing writer and her blog is somewhat addictive to say the least, do yourself a favor follow her blog!!) http://midlandsmusings.com/2013/03/18/exercise-log-finding-the-balance/ this posting regarding fitness and health yesterday was way too true and I have to say that she hit the nail on the head.

Although I prefer to live in “La La Land”, where everything is edible, candy floss clouds, rivers of chocolate, and roads of liquorice, where everyone is happy, laughter is the chosen way of communication, hugs are natural instinct and most of all nothing you eat makes its way to the storage facility located below your lower back… Aaargg Darn Calories!! I have realized that life isn’t that easy, even emotional baggage can turn into actual weight baggage if it is not dealt with, or overcome.

I have said many a times that I am a mother of 3… Three beautiful boys, and I have also mentioned that I am a woman in business with my husband, and if my boys were given half a chance they alone would keep me fitter than ever, but I have to say, that where I am in my life now, the thought of any exercise gets me exhausted, lately everything I do is exhausting. My inner being has become a little old woman, I am in bed by eight, fall asleep in the morning on my way to work, and have been caught at least three to four times having nodded off on my desk at work. I am talking sleepy exhausted, not lazy exhausted, I get my mind quite motivated, and have the most comfortable running shoes, I am just too tiered in the mornings to get up and do it… This is something I will overcome and have set myself a date and a goal and know that I am just going to have to do it.

I may just have found the solution to my eating disorder and unhealthy lifestyle, this is not a diet I repeat is not a DIET, it is a healthy living program that I am trying, and trying to get my family to enjoy as well. As I have realized that I am going to have to stop my addiction. My addiction to dieting, instead this is a healthy and nutritional way of life which seems fun and exciting, and interesting, and flavor-some. Easy to make recipes all of which are great tasting.

When I was first told RAW food, I thought, “REALLY… “HAVE YOU BLOODY EATEN ONLY RAW CARROTS…?” That is NOT my idea of fun, least of all enticing in any way what so ever… “You can SHOVE your bloody RAW food…” That’s until I realized what to do with it, it looks good and tastes good too, so NOW I will eat RAW food and apologize to all of those out there who I thought where really koo-koo for doing so!

Yes exercise will have to be something that is incorporated with this lifestyle, but seriously we all know to be healthy, a little bit of sweating is the only way to do this, keeping fit, healthy and being comfortable with one’s self is what I have realized what is important.

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Being a mother of 3, the pressure can be a bit much to say the least, wearing the right stylish attire, having a smoking post baby body, with boobs that are still as perky as they were before baby, tummies that are as firm and flat before baby, glowing skin, the perfect hair, and so as most of you know the list is endless, but the point that I am trying to make is that I have learnt that the best healthy, fit body, as well as healthy positive mind, body and soul, comes from within, it is the thought process that we have that allows us to feel and look good, it’s a case of what you put in you get out.

I have realized that being a big voluptuous woman, or being a size zero is irrelevant, it’s how you treat your body and your inner self that is a reflection of who and what you are on the outside. Who cares how big you are or small you are, as long as you know you are giving your body the nutrition it needs, and the thanks it deserves for carrying the beautiful children it has carried, for stretching and straining to grow a precious human being, breasts that have grown, and then grown some more, and now you feel you have to fight to get back to your old self… Why? Why? Why? Who wants to be their old self, when this is the new you, stretch marks or no stretch marks, big boobs or small boobs, big or small bum and thighs? I have always known, and conveniently forgotten that my body is my temple, that I am beautiful and that it doesn’t matter what ANY other person thinks of my outer appearance, as long as I know those things, as long as I break the viscous cycle of looking back into the past of what I looked like, who I was and what I have done, and simply focus on the present state of myself mind, body and soul of what I put in I get out regardless of the fact that at the end of it I might still not be “skinny” but knowing that I am now healthy then I have WON!!!

Today is the Third Day of my New Healthy Lifestyle and although it has been a bit difficult, I have not given up and will continue with this lifestyle change as my body NEEDS this, and it’s time to give back!!!

 A Healthy Diet... Is A Healthy Soul

 
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Posted by on March 20, 2013 in Body

 

Set Our Souls Free…

Life often seems to launch curve balls at us, often leaving us to question why, why now at this time in our lives, why when there is so much already that is on our plates, but our main question is why… why me? We claim to never see these things coming, although if we just quieted our minds, noticed the things around us, we would, as we are all such intelligent beings. Now by this I do not mean we can all see the future and predict what is going to happen to us, but when we still our minds our intuition can guide us. However sometimes this may not be what we want to hear, so we close this off preventing the inevitable, which is that horrid curve ball which is on its way, but we have chosen to close our eyes with the childish hope that if we can’t see it, it won’t see us…

This method of denial that we resort to ends up causing more damage, as when it does see us and hit us, it’s in the face, often causing long-lasting bruising, which in years to come, although the marks have faded, the wounds below the surface are still tender to the touch. Our natural response to this is that we didn’t see this coming, but in fact if we had just kept our eyes open and our minds still, we could have caught that curve ball or better yet have knocked it out the park for a home run, only leaving our hands a little tender from the shock, all which can be easily shaken off.

Our problems are the fact that if we never deal with the curve ball that is already on its way, if we don’t follow our intuition which has all the answers, patiently waiting for us to listen, before we know it there is more than one curve ball headed in our direction and unfortunately, it is impossible to dodge or hit them all, so there will be some very painful body, head, and maybe even a punch to the stomach, hitting us at once, which can in some cases leave irreparable damage to a person, the pain will eventually be overcome; however the scars are so deep they will never fade.

The burdens of lugging this baggage around, can only prevent us from picking up the bat for the next curve ball ahead, it prevents us from keeping our minds still to listen to the answers which we all hold within ourselves. These answers are generally what is best for our higher being or what is necessary to unleash our fullest potential we all have. This potential we all have, gives us the tools, and means to deal with and learn a lesson from the curve ball, it is however fear… the nastiest trait of all can hold us back, it is the fear of the unknown, the fear of leaving our comfort zones, fear of taking that adventure, which leaves us restless.

Afraid to take the next step. for fear we will fall off the edge to our doom instead of taking off and soaring, like the eagles we all are, we allow our wings to be clipped, sometimes it is for the sake of others, only in so doing this we don’t realize how much we are actually missing, the breeze of life as it touches the tips of our fingers and the freedom we have within us all.

Just imagine the stillness that would follow if we just listened to our intuition… It is there, within every one of us, patiently waiting for us to drop off others lost property, awaiting our undivided attention, all to guide us, for when the curve balls are launched. The curve balls hold the lesson to be learnt, the shock to the system, to strike us out, out of the rut, whether it’s a smack in the face to wake us up, to tell us to open our eyes, and holds the realization that what we are doing is not good for our higher selves, if we don’t listen to our intuition, we will forever be unable to soar, as we are holding ourselves down just preventing the inevitable, when we could be enjoying the breeze of life ahead of us…

 
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Posted by on November 2, 2011 in Journey Of Life

 

Thanks…. But No Thanks!

Once we are in what we consider a committed relationship, we generally get introduced to our better-half’s friends and their better-half or in some cases worse-half. This can be somewhat nerve wracking especially if you are meeting a very close friend of your mans and his best mates wife, who has been around from when your man was in previously committed relationships, and knew his ex’s well. So immediately when you meet these friends, they will play pretend while sussing you and the situation out, getting a feel for who they think you are. Not realizing that often enough, your man would never introduce you to his friends if he wasn’t already certain he was happy with you, but anyway, my point is that there are a different kinds of your husband’s friends wives you will end up socializing with.

1.       TYPE 1 – The woman your man hooked up with – now dating one of his friends.

This girlfriend or wife of one of your mans friends, this is the same woman your man hooked up with 5 years before he met you (and told you about), for her this felt like a life time, but was in fact a 5 minute booty call, and then she ended up in a relationship with one of his mates, but deep down still has a little something for your man, although she will never admit it, and she will be sickly sweet to you and skinner about you behind your back, as well as find every breathing moment when you are not around them to brush lightly on your man just to remind him she’s there.

2.      TYPE 2 – The wife of the friend who has a wondering eye…

Then there is one your mans best friends who is not to happy with his wife for whatever reason, however his wife also thinks that she is entitled to compare you to your mans ex because she became best friends with her, and while she is so busy condescending you, she doesn’t even notice her husband is actually grabbing the waitresses arse behind her back, while she’s interrogating you just to make sure you are not some tramp trying to work your way through all your mans friends pants, before disappearing into the sunset.

I must be honest I don’t really like these kinds, because one minute you are happy as larry with your man, and then the next moment you are getting bombarded, with memories of your mans ex and what they all used to do together, and as you sit there listening to things that make you feel a little uneasy, you glance over at your man who is wants to run over and hi-five you because he thinks you and his mates wife are hitting it off, when in fact the smile you send back is one of… Please save me VS I am going to throttle you, you loved your ex more – even though it doesn’t matter! 

You decide what the hell, I am going to let my hair down, have one too many drinks and hit the dance floor, show this cow exactly why your man wants you, and while you know you are causing a stir because your man is bragging about you. You over hear her telling your man and his friend, that you remind her of that one slapper another one of their mates dated, But you continue with your sexy moves because you know that your man is loving the view, and because you heard him say to her whilst she was insulting you to him, that he doesn’t care what she thinks, you are all his, and he likes that you are fun loving, caring, intelligent and he’s never felt this way before! WHAM!!!!  TAKE THAT BIATCH!!!

3.      TYPE 3 – The Worst Kind!!!

This is the woman you meet at a gathering that you and what is now your husband and father of your first child, where invited to. You haven’t met any of these friends yet, so even though you feel like crap, as you still trying to drop those last kilo’s from your new born baby, you arrive feeling allot less confident then you where when you met TYPE NO2, but none the less you go in and immediately notice a woman who eyes you out like the dead frog your cat dragged in, and you think to yourself she can’t possibly be one of the people you are meeting this evening, and as you make your way to the table in the restaurant, you see this woman still penetrating your soul with her dagger eyes, making her way very briskly, almost sprinting in the same direction as you are going in, only she’s coming in from your left hand side, so you start to worry she is a crazed ex of your husbands and you just hold your husband’s hand that much tighter for fear of your life. You get to the table seconds after she has got there and it dawns on your Oh My God, she is with this table! It’s all happening so fast, but she is now latched to some mans arm, a man you have never met before, she’ now looking at you all smug for a reason you are not aware, and then it hits you… like a ton of bricks… SHE’S INSECURE!!!

In the back of your mind as you get introduced to her and her husband, who is an old acquaintance of your husbands, you think to yourself, please chick, don’t worry about me, he is most definitely NOT MY TYPE, never mind the fact that there are no similarities between your man and hers not in the slightest so why would he be your type. Still she is watching you with her evil eye. In so doing this when she who has obviously met your husband years ago tries to show you up and leans in for what is an utter over kill for a hello to your husband, but you know in your heart exactly what your husband’s type is and it’s not her for sure!

The similarities between the 3 TYPES

These people become house friends eventually, because you have kids, and they have kids, and before you know it these same woman who still gives you dagger eyes when you are not looking and smile at you when you are. These women all don’t really like you because why… Their men actually do like you, because you are nothing like their jealous women, and you make their best mate happy, and they like that.

So I have come to believe these women have devised a tactic – a tactic which I have come to learn is incredibly pathetic. They start telling you how horrid the men in their lives are, this is all in hope that you will see them as a victim and their men as monsters, this way they think you are sure to pity them and keep your distance from their men.

This I would like to add has become an epic fail for all these wives because my husband and I go everywhere together. So you end up becoming one of the boys, because your conversational skills are not solely based on children, sex and marriage, and these men enjoy your company because they have noticed how much you enjoy the relationship you and your husband are in. Minly because your husband doesn’t need to go and sit in the car when you phone to check if he’s still okay, and lie to you that he is stuck in traffic or still busy at work. These men envy that, so when you do join your husband and his mates for drinks, these men start to share their thoughts with you, asking you to befriend their wife so they can have some boy time.

You also have to end up watching what you say when the wives are around, because type no 1’s man is now bored with his relationship, type no 2’s man is having an affair and you have met the other woman, and type no 3’s man hates going home because he get verbally abused when he walks in the door.

As the years go on these marriages and relationships that your husband friends are in fizzle out and come to an ugly end, and because you are still happily married to your man and these women know it and hate it as they where all very wrong about you. However when their first sms, or call goes out, it is to you, because they are so desperate to be a part of their ex’s life, even after you have now heard that each of these men has been accused of a having an affair with you…

The questions I have been asked, by my husband’s friends ex’s because I am now considered their new BFF…

  1. My relationship isn’t quite over yet with *Jack, I think he’s seeing someone else, will you come with me so I can follow him after work and see who he is meeting up with? 
  2. Did you know he was an affair? Yes you did, I know you did, you are a liar!
  3. Have you met his new girlfriend? Is she nice? Don’t lie I know you have met her!
  4. Is his new girlfriend prettier than me? DON’T LIE I KNOW YOU HAVE MET HER!
  5. Where is he living now? Don’t lie I am sure you know!
  6. THE BEST YET!!! Even though *Jack and I are not together, I’d still like to stay friends? Can I Come Visit? I thought we were close? (Stay Friends???? I’m confused, we where friends?)

After these women have accused their men of having an affair with me, because they needed someone to blame, while these women made a point of always going out of their way to make me feel like my husband’s last choice, while these woman back stabbed me, they now want to visit, be friends, have play dates with the kids, and have long chats on the phone.

My Answer: NO NO NO… Thanks… But No Thanks..!

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Wedding Guest Etiquette… If you don’t have it.. GET IT!

September, being the beginning of spring is also well known for marking the beginning of the Wedding season which follows through to late April, of course there are weddings through the winter months, but generally speaking many people prefer the warmer months for their special day…

Having been to a few weddings this year, the question which seems to linger in the back of my mind of late is, wedding guest etiquette. Everyone would agree that when you are invited to a wedding, other than the fact that these days due to the expense of getting married and having that white wedding, it is an utter privilege to be included on the happy couple’s guest list, whether you are family or just friends. Many couples today simply cannot afford to have everyone there, let alone include a plus one who they don’t even know. However my point is, that it is a privilege to be included, however with that privilege comes the responsibility of a little wedding guest etiquette.

  1. This starts with you responding to the invite by the RSVP date stated.
  2. Do not ask if you can bring your children when the invite specifically stimulates NO CHILDREN, I don’t believe there are any exceptions to this, rather be polite and don’t go than put the couple in an awkward position where they feel they need to make an exception to the rule for you, as there may be other other guests with children and the couple will then feel obliged to say yes to them as well. This puts extra pressure on them so don’t do it. (I already had an baby when I got married, but my invite still said NO CHILDREN only a selected few where included – MY INFANT at the time was in very good hands for one evening, he is four years old now so clearly he managed one night without my husband and I)
  3. If Children are allowed, as much as you may not want to miss a thing, screaming toddlers, infants, and   badly behaved children are not nice, and during the ceremony and speeches if your child acts up rather take your child for a walk where the other guests and special couple don’t have to hear or be part and parcel to this. They will have the utmost respect for you, for not putting them in that awkward position to having to either shout as they say their vows, or glare over at you, with a kind smile which is in fact hiding their fury of… NO THAT IS NOT CUTE! However with due respect to everyone out there some people don’t mind.
  4. Gift choice, it is important to put some thought into the gift you will choose for the couple, these days this is made easy for us and there are gift registries, however if you don’t know what to get, the newlyweds will be very appreciative of money, as they probably want some spending money for a honeymoon and these days couples already have everything, so they will often request monetary donations to put towards something they have had their eye on.
  5. Lastly and most importantly wardrobe choice for this couples monumentally special day. Again it is the happy couple’s day, so read the invite carefully, if you don’t know what formal, smart or smart-casual is look it up or ask someone who knows. The couple has spent a great deal planning their special day, and as you are a privilege guest make a concerted effort to ensure you dress the part, its one night of your life, and this goes for your children to. 

Wardrobe choice!!!

Often the most difficult part of going to a wedding but ladies I have to be honest, lately every wedding I attend there is always a bitch who wears a the shortest, tightest white, cream or ivory dress, with bead work of some sort or even worse fur…
 
 

NO ! NO ! NO! WEDDING GUEST FAIL !!!!

These dresses leave nothing to imagination as we are well aware that you do not in fact have underwear on, but these women who feel it is okay to arrive dressed as such, honestly piss me off to my core. However when I attended the most recent weddings, I thought I was the only one who was annoyed by this and it didn’t take long for everyone else to start commenting on the aforesaid slapper in white. Whilst some of the men who commented thought that it was insecurities on other women’s behalf, an openly gay friend turned around and enlightened the group that there is no excuse to arrive at a wedding with or without a plus one dressed like a wanna be hooker bride from Hillbrow, which put my mind at ease that I have not been the only one annoyed by this utter disrespect to the bride on her special day.

  1. Some advice to ladies, to ensure you are not considered the wanna be hooker from Hillbrow, if you had or have a secret crush on the brides husband and you want to show him what he’s missing DON’T.
  2. If you are single, widowed or divorced, someone’s wedding is not a place for you to get your groove on, so don’t wear anything too provocative, it is disrespectful to the bride, whether she notices or not, all eyes are supposed to be on her, and not drawn away by your short skirt, skin tight dress, c-thru summer dress, or excessively low cut top, where your overly large breast are about to drop out onto your plate.
  3. If the bride doesn’t notice, everyone else will, and when they do even though men may be drooling at your legs that go to heaven, long awaiting a glimpse as you sit down and perhaps throw a Sharon Stone move, the truth is these men mock you to their plus-one and put you down as being an easy lay, and you could possibly be the nicest person out there, and your plus one just adores the fact that you are a tease all night, but it’s the sad truth. It’s a wedding, a long awaited day by the bride, where she wants her husband’s eyes only focused on her, and she has gone through the blood, sweat and tears of putting her perfect day together.

You too will someday be the bride of the moment, the day where you can wear whatever you like, so save your skanky dress for that day, when you want all eyes on you.

 

Until then don’t do it, because when your big day comes, and it will, don’t forget to keep an eye out for the bitch in the skimpy little white dress looking for attention, there is always one…

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

We Can’t Choose Our Family…

Strange family members, every family has them, no one likes to admit that we don’t always want these people around, but sometimes there is just no way of avoiding them, as they are in your face and terrify the neighbours as they look like the people from the movie Wrong Turn, hill billys from hell…

At the end of last year my God Mother arrived out here from the UK, much to our excitement her husband spoiled her and sent her over for here for three weeks, bad idea on his behalf, to entrust his beautiful wife, and mother of five in our care, but he did and I don’t think even he has realised how we may have tainted the woman of his dreams. Although it has to be said that she has tongue-in-cheek advice and comments, that get thrashed out regularly, she will have you hypnotized, just begging for more.

Due to the fact that she has known my mother forever, and has been her very best friend since high school she knows everything there is to know about my mom, and everything about everyone who had the pleasure honor of gracing these two reprobates with their presence. Let me not fail to mention that when these two women are together, other than the fact that they can talk the hind legs off a donkey, they can be poison, those who appreciate their humor, have constant updates on Facebook of who’s who in the zoo… (ZOO being the key word)

My God Mother has been reported and kicked-off face book for commenting on her own beliefs, that seemed to offend some and now goes my her maiden name and still keeps us fully updated on fashion tips for women over 40 – flaunting tights, low-cut tops that really show off those udders that have fed 3 kids, the muffin tops that have a sneaky way of showing the world how strange your body really is and lets not forget THE FORBIDDEN CAMEL TOE… But the best part is, those of us (ME) who have strange family members that remain undisclosed to the world, she has no problem telling the world, of her overgrown, fat, nasty, hag-hair covered sister in-laws, her father in-law who is on his “death-bed” regularly, an ongoing saga that could put the Bold and the Beautiful to shame in fact it may drop their ratings, and a mother in-law whose tact is nothing short of fish market material.

However during her stay with us, one night over a glass of wine cup of strong coffee, while browsing through Facebook, and showing her my photos, before taking a second look, or a breath, it popped out like a vicious pimple on your wedding day…… “Oh God… are those your dads brothers?”

Dads Brothers????? NO!!!!!!
 
Oh the horror…. the terrifying resemblance! My mothers best friend, who had met his family members  in the early 1980’s, honestly thought that these three stooges where my Dads brothers. At first I thought she was joking, and after the longest glare, she said to me “No Lisa really are those not your Dads brothers… After the hysteria died down I answered…. “UM NO, they are not, I googled retards and this is the picture that came up!” In disbelief, she said again, “No Really Now”, After having to actually google retards and search under images, proving to her that these three men where in fact not my uncles, she just wouldn’t accept it, as there is an uncanny resemblance.. Not to my Dad in anyway, as he is a very handsome man, but to some of his family extended family members who carry unfortunate genes from the wrong side of the family.. Maybe it is the hair style that caught her eye… or the moustach… what ever it was it frightens the day lights out of me…
 
My God, I will forever be scared when I look at this image, as I cannot help but begin to see what she saw, and as I start to think about some of the family members I refuse to acknowledge, a little Facebook search is a nice way to up my spirits, even better after reading the arguments and mud-slinging that follows a status update which could easily be a topic on Jerry Springer, and the scary truth is he would have the most suitable characters to match…
 
Now I know some people may be thinking whether I am worried that these family members in question may read this, however I can honestly say without a doubt in my mind I THINK NOT… as literacy is something that eludes many of them, and if I know some of my extended family the word blog, is far beyond their vocabulary and understanding. The question is will they follow the link and “right-click” or will they “RITE KLIKC” down on paper…
 
Never the less as I said before we all have family members we prefer not to talk about, the uncle that thinks its okay to discuss his bowel movements at sunday lunch, the aunt who’s wardrobe choice would frighten a hooker or even a cousin who thinks he’s to school for cool, and you know, deep down he was probably dropped on his head as a baby, even In-Laws or Out-Laws is the appropriate word for some, which we wish would just pretend we don’t exist, as it we may never say it to them, it would make us oh so very happy…
 
We all know we can’t choose our family… But we can choose our friends… THANK GOD!!!
 
 
 
 
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Posted by on September 13, 2011 in Human Behaviour

 

Mystery of Lifes Milestones

While I wasn’t looking, life just happened to me. I am 26 years old, married, have two children with another on the way, I run a business with my husband and all this in a matter of 5 years. What started off with a bit of lust, lust for something new, lust for love, lust for passion, turned into a babies, marriage and business. Sometimes I wonder if my life has been on fast forward. My two sons are 4 and 2 years old and the third will be born in late December, early January. I still can’t believe that while my eyes were closed and I was planning my life, life happened to me.

Being only 26 and what has been an interesting, fun, exciting journey has also been one of frustration, tears and sometimes a nagging loneliness. This is because so many of my friends that I grew up with and shared a lot of life’s “milestones” with, are all in very different places and obviously different journeys in life, which is to be expected of course, but can be a lonely process for me, as my life is now filled with many responsibilities that are very difficult to explain to my closest and dearest friends. I have found myself many times, sitting with people who are all my seniors, discussing life and where we all are in our lives, as much as I have received useful, tips, advise, and have been able to share my feelings and experiences with them, grateful that they have understood exactly where I am coming from. As much as I have appreciated all the wisdom shared, It doesn’t stop that feeling of being a baby taking its first steps, as my seniors have already been there and done that.

I get that we all progress at different paces, but Oh, I hope someday I will be understood by my peers, that they will understand that all the venting I shared with them was because there where times that where so tough, I was looking for that shoulder to cry on, that shoulder to tell me no matter what happens Lis, no matter what choice you make, I will never judge you, I will stand by you, I will accept you with all your faults, and whether you make a bad choice or a good choice you have my support, and a shoulder to cry on. That they will understand the joys as well as the massive responsibilities of having a child, a child that looks back at them, and they can see all of the achievements in their children’s eyes, and wonder what the hell took me so long, why was I scared, and I can then be there for them in return through all the good as well as the bad.

 They will understand when they have made that commitment to the man or woman in their lives, that there is a change, a change that cannot be explained, but that with all the ups there will be downs and that they will want to fight harder to make this relationship work. They will understand what I meant when I said I cannot understand why the world is so self-absorbed with appearance, and the endless list of wanting to have more when you already have everything you need and that we are all so busy competing with everyone else, whether it’s comparing your relationship to someone elses less than perfect one (in your eyes), or comparing children, and houses, cars, clothes and all the other material things that every one of us allow to take over our lives, how we lose sight of who and what we are. Whether their experiences are similar or not there will be times where even though we are all so different, and whether its one who is stronger, harder, more loving, forgiving, more compassionate, no matter what it is there will be a silent understanding.

I know that this is all to be expected in life and is more than likely another one of life’s milestones that each one of us have to experience and I am grateful that the universe has put what seems like a mountain to overcome in my path, even if it is a tough journey, it is my journey of self discovery. I am learning new things about myself everyday, in between the hustle and bustle of daily activities, I still time find time to reflect on the journey I have already taken and realise that no matter how frustrating it has been as times that there have been many great times that I have cherished and keep close to my heart.

The next life milestones await us all! It happens when we aren’t looking…

 
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Posted by on September 13, 2011 in Journey Of Life

 
 
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