While I wasn’t looking, life just happened to me. I am 26 years old, married, have two children with another on the way, I run a business with my husband and all this in a matter of 5 years. What started off with a bit of lust, lust for something new, lust for love, lust for passion, turned into a babies, marriage and business. Sometimes I wonder if my life has been on fast forward. My two sons are 4 and 2 years old and the third will be born in late December, early January. I still can’t believe that while my eyes were closed and I was planning my life, life happened to me.
Being only 26 and what has been an interesting, fun, exciting journey has also been one of frustration, tears and sometimes a nagging loneliness. This is because so many of my friends that I grew up with and shared a lot of life’s “milestones” with, are all in very different places and obviously different journeys in life, which is to be expected of course, but can be a lonely process for me, as my life is now filled with many responsibilities that are very difficult to explain to my closest and dearest friends. I have found myself many times, sitting with people who are all my seniors, discussing life and where we all are in our lives, as much as I have received useful, tips, advise, and have been able to share my feelings and experiences with them, grateful that they have understood exactly where I am coming from. As much as I have appreciated all the wisdom shared, It doesn’t stop that feeling of being a baby taking its first steps, as my seniors have already been there and done that.
I get that we all progress at different paces, but Oh, I hope someday I will be understood by my peers, that they will understand that all the venting I shared with them was because there where times that where so tough, I was looking for that shoulder to cry on, that shoulder to tell me no matter what happens Lis, no matter what choice you make, I will never judge you, I will stand by you, I will accept you with all your faults, and whether you make a bad choice or a good choice you have my support, and a shoulder to cry on. That they will understand the joys as well as the massive responsibilities of having a child, a child that looks back at them, and they can see all of the achievements in their children’s eyes, and wonder what the hell took me so long, why was I scared, and I can then be there for them in return through all the good as well as the bad.
They will understand when they have made that commitment to the man or woman in their lives, that there is a change, a change that cannot be explained, but that with all the ups there will be downs and that they will want to fight harder to make this relationship work. They will understand what I meant when I said I cannot understand why the world is so self-absorbed with appearance, and the endless list of wanting to have more when you already have everything you need and that we are all so busy competing with everyone else, whether it’s comparing your relationship to someone elses less than perfect one (in your eyes), or comparing children, and houses, cars, clothes and all the other material things that every one of us allow to take over our lives, how we lose sight of who and what we are. Whether their experiences are similar or not there will be times where even though we are all so different, and whether its one who is stronger, harder, more loving, forgiving, more compassionate, no matter what it is there will be a silent understanding.
I know that this is all to be expected in life and is more than likely another one of life’s milestones that each one of us have to experience and I am grateful that the universe has put what seems like a mountain to overcome in my path, even if it is a tough journey, it is my journey of self discovery. I am learning new things about myself everyday, in between the hustle and bustle of daily activities, I still time find time to reflect on the journey I have already taken and realise that no matter how frustrating it has been as times that there have been many great times that I have cherished and keep close to my heart.
The next life milestones await us all! It happens when we aren’t looking…