Once we are in what we consider a committed relationship, we generally get introduced to our better-half’s friends and their better-half or in some cases worse-half. This can be somewhat nerve wracking especially if you are meeting a very close friend of your mans and his best mates wife, who has been around from when your man was in previously committed relationships, and knew his ex’s well. So immediately when you meet these friends, they will play pretend while sussing you and the situation out, getting a feel for who they think you are. Not realizing that often enough, your man would never introduce you to his friends if he wasn’t already certain he was happy with you, but anyway, my point is that there are a different kinds of your husband’s friends wives you will end up socializing with.
1. TYPE 1 – The woman your man hooked up with – now dating one of his friends.
This girlfriend or wife of one of your mans friends, this is the same woman your man hooked up with 5 years before he met you (and told you about), for her this felt like a life time, but was in fact a 5 minute booty call, and then she ended up in a relationship with one of his mates, but deep down still has a little something for your man, although she will never admit it, and she will be sickly sweet to you and skinner about you behind your back, as well as find every breathing moment when you are not around them to brush lightly on your man just to remind him she’s there.
2. TYPE 2 – The wife of the friend who has a wondering eye…
Then there is one your mans best friends who is not to happy with his wife for whatever reason, however his wife also thinks that she is entitled to compare you to your mans ex because she became best friends with her, and while she is so busy condescending you, she doesn’t even notice her husband is actually grabbing the waitresses arse behind her back, while she’s interrogating you just to make sure you are not some tramp trying to work your way through all your mans friends pants, before disappearing into the sunset.
I must be honest I don’t really like these kinds, because one minute you are happy as larry with your man, and then the next moment you are getting bombarded, with memories of your mans ex and what they all used to do together, and as you sit there listening to things that make you feel a little uneasy, you glance over at your man who is wants to run over and hi-five you because he thinks you and his mates wife are hitting it off, when in fact the smile you send back is one of… Please save me VS I am going to throttle you, you loved your ex more – even though it doesn’t matter!
You decide what the hell, I am going to let my hair down, have one too many drinks and hit the dance floor, show this cow exactly why your man wants you, and while you know you are causing a stir because your man is bragging about you. You over hear her telling your man and his friend, that you remind her of that one slapper another one of their mates dated, But you continue with your sexy moves because you know that your man is loving the view, and because you heard him say to her whilst she was insulting you to him, that he doesn’t care what she thinks, you are all his, and he likes that you are fun loving, caring, intelligent and he’s never felt this way before! WHAM!!!! TAKE THAT BIATCH!!!
3. TYPE 3 – The Worst Kind!!!
This is the woman you meet at a gathering that you and what is now your husband and father of your first child, where invited to. You haven’t met any of these friends yet, so even though you feel like crap, as you still trying to drop those last kilo’s from your new born baby, you arrive feeling allot less confident then you where when you met TYPE NO2, but none the less you go in and immediately notice a woman who eyes you out like the dead frog your cat dragged in, and you think to yourself she can’t possibly be one of the people you are meeting this evening, and as you make your way to the table in the restaurant, you see this woman still penetrating your soul with her dagger eyes, making her way very briskly, almost sprinting in the same direction as you are going in, only she’s coming in from your left hand side, so you start to worry she is a crazed ex of your husbands and you just hold your husband’s hand that much tighter for fear of your life. You get to the table seconds after she has got there and it dawns on your Oh My God, she is with this table! It’s all happening so fast, but she is now latched to some mans arm, a man you have never met before, she’ now looking at you all smug for a reason you are not aware, and then it hits you… like a ton of bricks… SHE’S INSECURE!!!
In the back of your mind as you get introduced to her and her husband, who is an old acquaintance of your husbands, you think to yourself, please chick, don’t worry about me, he is most definitely NOT MY TYPE, never mind the fact that there are no similarities between your man and hers not in the slightest so why would he be your type. Still she is watching you with her evil eye. In so doing this when she who has obviously met your husband years ago tries to show you up and leans in for what is an utter over kill for a hello to your husband, but you know in your heart exactly what your husband’s type is and it’s not her for sure!
The similarities between the 3 TYPES
These people become house friends eventually, because you have kids, and they have kids, and before you know it these same woman who still gives you dagger eyes when you are not looking and smile at you when you are. These women all don’t really like you because why… Their men actually do like you, because you are nothing like their jealous women, and you make their best mate happy, and they like that.
So I have come to believe these women have devised a tactic – a tactic which I have come to learn is incredibly pathetic. They start telling you how horrid the men in their lives are, this is all in hope that you will see them as a victim and their men as monsters, this way they think you are sure to pity them and keep your distance from their men.
This I would like to add has become an epic fail for all these wives because my husband and I go everywhere together. So you end up becoming one of the boys, because your conversational skills are not solely based on children, sex and marriage, and these men enjoy your company because they have noticed how much you enjoy the relationship you and your husband are in. Minly because your husband doesn’t need to go and sit in the car when you phone to check if he’s still okay, and lie to you that he is stuck in traffic or still busy at work. These men envy that, so when you do join your husband and his mates for drinks, these men start to share their thoughts with you, asking you to befriend their wife so they can have some boy time.
You also have to end up watching what you say when the wives are around, because type no 1’s man is now bored with his relationship, type no 2’s man is having an affair and you have met the other woman, and type no 3’s man hates going home because he get verbally abused when he walks in the door.
As the years go on these marriages and relationships that your husband friends are in fizzle out and come to an ugly end, and because you are still happily married to your man and these women know it and hate it as they where all very wrong about you. However when their first sms, or call goes out, it is to you, because they are so desperate to be a part of their ex’s life, even after you have now heard that each of these men has been accused of a having an affair with you…
The questions I have been asked, by my husband’s friends ex’s because I am now considered their new BFF…
- My relationship isn’t quite over yet with *Jack, I think he’s seeing someone else, will you come with me so I can follow him after work and see who he is meeting up with?
- Did you know he was an affair? Yes you did, I know you did, you are a liar!
- Have you met his new girlfriend? Is she nice? Don’t lie I know you have met her!
- Is his new girlfriend prettier than me? DON’T LIE I KNOW YOU HAVE MET HER!
- Where is he living now? Don’t lie I am sure you know!
- THE BEST YET!!! Even though *Jack and I are not together, I’d still like to stay friends? Can I Come Visit? I thought we were close? (Stay Friends???? I’m confused, we where friends?)
After these women have accused their men of having an affair with me, because they needed someone to blame, while these women made a point of always going out of their way to make me feel like my husband’s last choice, while these woman back stabbed me, they now want to visit, be friends, have play dates with the kids, and have long chats on the phone.
My Answer: NO NO NO… Thanks… But No Thanks..!