Strange family members, every family has them, no one likes to admit that we don’t always want these people around, but sometimes there is just no way of avoiding them, as they are in your face and terrify the neighbours as they look like the people from the movie Wrong Turn, hill billys from hell…
At the end of last year my God Mother arrived out here from the UK, much to our excitement her husband spoiled her and sent her over for here for three weeks, bad idea on his behalf, to entrust his beautiful wife, and mother of five in our care, but he did and I don’t think even he has realised how we may have tainted the woman of his dreams. Although it has to be said that she has tongue-in-cheek advice and comments, that get thrashed out regularly, she will have you hypnotized, just begging for more.
Due to the fact that she has known my mother forever, and has been her very best friend since high school she knows everything there is to know about my mom, and everything about everyone who had the
pleasure honor of gracing these two reprobates with their presence. Let me not fail to mention that when these two women are together, other than the fact that they can talk the hind legs off a donkey, they can be poison, those who appreciate their humor, have constant updates on Facebook of who’s who in the zoo… (ZOO being the key word)
My God Mother has been reported and kicked-off face book for commenting on her own beliefs, that seemed to offend some and now goes my her maiden name and still keeps us fully updated on fashion tips for women over 40 – flaunting tights, low-cut tops that really show off those udders that have fed 3 kids, the muffin tops that have a sneaky way of showing the world how strange your body really is and lets not forget THE FORBIDDEN CAMEL TOE… But the best part is, those of us (ME) who have strange family members that remain undisclosed to the world, she has no problem telling the world, of her overgrown, fat, nasty, hag-hair covered sister in-laws, her father in-law who is on his “death-bed” regularly, an ongoing saga that could put the Bold and the Beautiful to shame in fact it may drop their ratings, and a mother in-law whose tact is nothing short of fish market material.
However during her stay with us, one night over a
glass of wine cup of strong coffee, while browsing through Facebook, and showing her my photos, before taking a second look, or a breath, it popped out like a vicious pimple on your wedding day…… “Oh God… are those your dads brothers?”